Weaning Stance

Weaning is a personal decision that should be based on individual circumstances and the needs of both the parent and the child.

We recognise that the biological norm for our species is to feed until natural weaning, which can occur anywhere between around 2 and 7 years old. Human milk provides valuable nutrients and antibodies to the child, meeting many nutritional needs and boosting immunity through infancy and beyond. The World Health Organisation emphasises the benefits of nursing for two years and beyond (WHO, 2002).

We understand that numerous factors can influence a nursing parent's ability or desire to nurse. At The Beyond Sleep Training Project, we encourage our members to adopt a child-centred approach to weaning. Some children can wean relatively quickly, and others may need a longer, slower period to adjust.

We also recognise that any amount of nursing is a success. Loving parents nourish their babies in various ways, the members of this group are a testament to that.

We acknowledge that weaning can have various effects on some children, including potential changes in night waking patterns. Night weaning does not guarantee an improvement in night waking, and in some cases, can cause an increase in the frequency of night wakes.

Parents should not feel they ‘need’ to night wean to get their child sleeping ‘better’. Continuing to nurse throughout the night is often the easiest way to get through intense periods because the hormones produced when feeding assist in getting both the parent and the baby back to sleep.

Our approach to weaning is centred on providing gentle guidance, informed decision-making, and respectful support.

Informed and supported is best.

Guidelines for Weaning Discussion:

Respect Personal Choice: We recognise that nursing and weaning are deeply personal experiences and respect each individual's autonomy in choosing the right time to wean. Members are encouraged to support one another's choices and refrain from judgment or pressure. A comment suggesting that a member weans will be deleted if the member has not asked for weaning advice. Our team may ask questions about the reasons for weaning so we can provide the best holistic support to each member. This should not be taken as pressure to continue.
Evidence-based: We encourage members to provide evidence-based information from reputable sources when discussing weaning. Sharing evidence-based information fosters informed decision-making and provides a solid foundation for discussions. When sharing evidence, ensure that it is recent, up-to-date, and from a reliable source who is an expert on human milk and nursing.
Gentle Weaning: We advocate for a gentle approach to weaning that considers the child's emotional well-being and gradual adjustment. Members are encouraged to share strategies and experiences that promote a nurturing and sensitive weaning process. Gentle weaning is a journey, not a destination. We acknowledge that any approach to making such a large change will take time, and need a flexible approach.

Our moderators reserve the right to delete comments mentioning an approach that does not sound gentle. To ensure your comment remains, please add enough information for our moderators to understand how weaning worked for your family. While we try to approach with curiosity, we also need the support of our members to ensure they're communicating effectively. If a comment is removed, you are welcome to contact us to clarify or re-comment with more context or information.

Individual Circumstances: Recognising that the right time to wean can vary for each family is essential. Factors such as the child's age, health, development, temperament and the parent's physical and emotional well-being should be considered. Members are encouraged to seek individualised support, such as consulting with an IBCLC or a healthcare professional who is an expert in nursing. It’s essential to seek support from someone with extensive training and experience in nursing specifically for the best advice.
Night Waking and Weaning: While weaning can impact night waking patterns, it's essential to acknowledge that every child is different. Weaning may or may not lead to changes in sleep behaviour. We have had stories in our group of weaning resulting in fewer night wakings and stories in our group of more frequent and longer night wakings. Members are encouraged to share experiences and provide support without making assumptions about the outcome of weaning on sleep.
Coping Strategies: Recognising that weaning might not resolve night wakes, members are welcome to discuss alternative coping strategies for managing nighttime wakes or ways to wean children onto a new way of settling, such as adding another form of comfort before commencing weaning. Sharing experiences, tips, and emotional support can be valuable for parents navigating this stage.
Nursing Aversion: If you are experiencing nursing aversion, know you are not alone – many nursing parents sometimes experience this. Nursing aversion or agitation can be a very confronting and difficult experience. If your feelings about nursing have changed, you may find some of these articles helpful:

Safe and Inclusive Environment: We prioritise maintaining a safe and inclusive environment for all members. Discussions should be respectful and sensitive, and the unique members' circumstances should be acknowledged. If a member requests weaning advice, other members are welcome to provide supportive and evidence-based information without imposing personal values.

Remember, the primary focus of our group is to provide a supportive community where members can share their experiences, seek advice from peers, and find understanding during their weaning journeys.

Our Admin Team Top Tips*:

Don’t offer, don’t refuse
Consider layering/ stacking in other forms of comfort whilst still giving breastfeeds. This could be adding in a back rub, head stroke or a bottom or back pat during feeds. Other options are humming, singing, quiet music playing or a comfort item like a blankie or soft toy. You might need to experiment a bit to see what seems to work for your baby. Once these new comfort measures have been established they can be used during the transition of reducing the length of feed or offered instead of a feed.
Distraction, distraction, distraction - offer an alternative activity
Ensure that your child has their nutritional needs met elsewhere recognising that breastfeeding is more than just a nutrition source
Cover your breasts so they’re less convenient for nursing (not with sticking plasters/bandaids) this may include wearing a top with a high neck, a t-shirt rather than a scoop neck or clothing that was not designed for breastfeeding.
Choose a spot in the house for nursing that’s not in a room that you’re normally in, always move to this spot when your child asks for a feed
Ask your child to have a feed for x number of sucks and count. But don’t refuse if they continue. Or have a breastfeed for the amount of time it takes to sing a particular nursery rhyme
Try another method for getting your little one to sleep like a walk in the pram or a car trip – this will be best done by a method that has worked previously for your child so not to cause distress.
Ask your child to wait until something is finished before a feed i.e. I need to pack the groceries away before we feed, can you wait? Can you help Mummy to put these items in the drawer?
Offer a drink of water
Offer a snack – ensuring you have something that’s available with little or no preparation
If there are consistent times of the day that your child has a feed, look to tackle one feed at a time.
Start by dropping the feed that your child is least interested in
Find some other ways to connect with your child for cuddles. Your little one will need reassurance that your love is not being taken away
Only offer one breast at feeds rather than two
Purchase a new sippy cup or drinking cup and make a big deal about how special this is
Read ‘Nursies when the sun shines’ or create your own weaning story (template to start you here)
Change your routine so that a feed is moved further away from sleep
Make a ‘pop’ noise with your lips as a cue to ask your child to stop feeding and unlatch
Nighttime may prove to be more challenging as many of the daytime tools can’t be applied – Sarah Ockwell-Smith talks about her gentle approach here.
Consider trying things in ‘bursts’, this means attempting a new way to settle but if your child becomes distressed revert back to the usual way of settling them. Keep working to increase the length of the burst (while being guided by your child’s response) this allows them time to build trust in this new transition. This technique is explained by Dr Tracy Cassels of Evolutionary Parenting.

*It is important to recognise that these tips will generally be easier to implement with each passing month of age.

Recommended Book Titles on Weaning

(Meme Credit - Southern Natural Parenting Network https://www.facebook.com/SouthernNaturalParentingNetwork/ )

I have an emergency and I need to wean my child, how do I do it?

We would recommend a consult with one of our recommended professionals to help make a plan for weaning if you are faced with this difficult situation. There is not a one size fits all and it’s great to have support when going through a big change such as this.

Page 11 of Pinky’s Weaning with love eBook also addresses this issue. http://www.pinkymckay.com/pdf/pinky_mckay-weaning_with_love_ebook.pdf

References:

[1] https://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/

[2]https://www.eatforhealth.gov.au/sites/default/files/files/the_guidelines/n56b_infant_feeding_summary_130808.pdf

[3] https://themilkmeg.com/breastfeeding-cause-cavities/

[4] https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/breastfeeding-and-tooth-decay

[5] https://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/tooth-decay/